Monday, December 10, 2012

Blog 3 - Religious Skepticism: A Family Tradition


    Accidental suicide is one of the greatest loopholes of the Christian faith. Parishioners from the various sects will have different answers for why and how the lines are drawn, but a Christian who accidentally overdoses on heroin has a better chance of getting into "Heaven" than a person who, say, jumps off a cliff. Even better, if you wear a parachute that fails as you're going over the cliff, you're off the hook completely; that is, as long as you don't you don't intend to die. Extreme sports, in particular, allow one to statistically "beat the system" and "reunite with God" ahead of schedule (obviously not "God's"' schedule, as he is "omniscient"). If "Heaven" is, in fact, the goal, why not give God frequent opportunities to fly you home?
    My grandfather, Fred, was born and raised in rural Appalachian Ohio. He identifies as Methodist and has attended church regularly throughout his life. A school teacher and avid reader, my grandfather has always regarded science as a worthwhile pursuit and method of religious illumination; he'd favor geological evidence over Young Earth creationism, and then use the Big Bang theory to explain Genesis. He's my favorite kind of Christian: the kind that allows for his faith and understanding to evolve, together, in the light of new evidence. I remember his support at my aunt's commitment ceremony every time I see him with his namesake, my one year old cousin Fritz, as he's being fussed over by his two moms.
    My other cousin, Jack, is in first grade. One afternoon, back in August, we were playing with his hypoallergenic puppy, Rogue, when he asked me whether or not I believed in heaven. He'd been told that dogs could go to heaven, too, but that some people couldn't. He told me he thought everyone should be allowed into heaven, regardless of what they believe, because "Jesus loves everyone". When my grandfather was his age, he had a similar thought. See, there's another loophole in the bible which, by law of subtraction, states that a person has a better chance of entering heaven if they're unaware of Jesus's existence. That is to say, a person who does not believe in Jesus, because they have never heard of Jesus, can still enter the gates of heaven if they have lived a moral life. However, if someone tells you about Jesus, but are unable to convince you to join their particular sect of Christianity or Catholicism, they have essentially damned you to hell. You have now willingly rejected the word of Christ, whereas before you were simply "ignorant."
    When my grandfather raised this point in Sunday school, he was told that to know Christ, but not proselytize, is to neglect him. Good Christians should, by all accounts, engage with and win over the hearts and minds of as many people as possible. For Fred, the math just didn't add up: even if his church's members were able to convert 50% of the far East "natives" they'd chosen to ", they'd be condemning the other half to eternal suffering. Perhaps this is why, when asked about my grandfather's ancestor John "Johnny Appleseed" Chapman, he refers to him as "a bit of a nut." That's what his mother told him, that's what told me, and that's what I'll tell any of my future progeny. They'll probably hear a lot more from me on the subject, as I have from my grandfather over the years, and I hope some of my skepticism will be passed down as well.

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